Building a Foundation With Confidence

I am speaking to all, each and every person, not just those who believe in God. Each person must believe in something beyond themselves on which they can trust and rely on. For those that don’t believe in God, imagine a force beyond yourself that has all the values and more that you have. That force never yields to corruption or nature as we often do. That force is unrelenting and strong by which one can gain strength. For me, that is God.

The meaning of confidence is often misunderstood. It is not about seeking fame or the spotlight. Confident people do not seek praise and honor. They seek constructive feedback from those they trust on their performance. They do desire to improve so they do accept to some degree or another the accusations of others as an account that they should consider in their search for wisdom that can help them improve themselves. This is never natural. We all naturally seek approving validation from others so we can feel exemplary compared to those like us. Feedback can be helpful but often that feedback isn’t honest but critically biased. Some who desire our approval of them will only give positive, encouraging critiques despite what they would candidly share if they knew it would not affect our judgement of them. Others are going to condemn and denounce us no matter how we execute, perform, and accomplish the feat. Our validation should not come from the outside. It should come from knowing that we stand true to the beliefs, standards, and values that we profess and hold deep inside. We should not make the mistake of juidging others by the values we profess but we should judge ourselves by those standards that have become part of us and represent who we are. We should however not judge ourselves destructively but learn and improve by observing those flaws in our character. We must hold God as the greatest exemplar of who we are striving to become. As we observe and learn of characteristics that we hold in high regard, we can then evaluate in what ways we fail to remain true to them and make leaps and bounds toward emulating them. As we persist in ameliorating our weaknesses and flaws and overcome them, we will discover that we have naturally become confident and are more able to succor and support others’ growth for we don’t thirst to be idolized or even appreciated but we can help them without the bias that naturally comes as a human being.

Consider confidence in the perspective of a single man pursuing women he would like to date. How should he attempt to win a girl’s love and attention? How should he act in a way to be confident? Should he can seek to make her love him? Is that confidence? Or should he focus on making her time together with him beautiful and rewarding? Is an outward image of confidence sufficient? How can he really be confident in a situation where he could fail? If he lives by solid values, he doesn’t need her to accept him if she doesn’t value those things. The same values he looks for in himself, he looks for in her. A man who seeks to be validated by a beautiful woman, loses all his integrity and stands for nothing. He is not confident and holds no value to any woman. A man that trades his values only for beauty is worthless and he will never win a good woman’s heart. He can fake confidence through acting like a cocky jerk but in the end she will see his true worth and kick him to the curb. This is my advice to that man that can be applied to whatever demographic and situation you desire. Be the man on the outside that you are on the inside. That is confidence. That is what it means to be pure through and through. The gold with the greatest value is in its purest form. Any water polluted becomes worthless. You wouldn’t drink it would you? I hope you see why you shouldn’t sell your soul to the highest bidder. When you don’t show the true you that is inside, you do that and you’re lying to the people you encounter

I hope that you all see now that real confidence is humble and seeketh not their own but seeketh to serve. People that actualize confidence inside and out don’t put on an act or performance as though they are confident because they have values that they live in every single action they make. A confident person is not needy and can focus on serving his neighbor. They don’t have an appetite for the praise and love of others because they seek unselfishly the happiness of those around them. A gorgeous confident girl doesn’t need to wear immodest or revealing clothes to win the attention and love of men. The elegance of what she wears is sufficient only to help others to enjoy that time with her while maintaining her high standards and values.